Of Brains and Hands and Open Gobs

I really want to have the surgery and my wanting is bad enough to literally STOP ME dead in my tracks from overeating. This may be the first time in my life I've actually thought about what is going into my hand before it reaches my gob.

I posted this over at LapBandTalk, and yanno...it's true! My brain is now officially tied to my hand and mouth.

Something to look forward to :)

"Okay, Mom! When you get skinny we're going to dress like sluts and rock out at a Shakira concert! I want people to mistake us for sisters!"

So sayeth my 15.5 year old daughter.

I have so much to look forward to.

Darr

Bulk mail

All righty then. I admit to having a day job. It's not the job of my heart, but I enjoy it and it has rad benefits. If I could have those benefits writing, man...that would be the life.

However, that said, I had to do a bulk mailing for le day job today. I loathe the whole bulk mail scenario. The only thing that makes it worthwhile are the incredibly helpful, happy, smiling POSTAL WORKERS of the Bellingham bulk mail office. They are so freakin' nice!

That said, I bent and stopped and hauled and schlepped for about 3.5 hours today. Sweated, panted, got all hot and sticky and am somehow going to figure out how to count that into my calorieking exercise points!

I'm pretty sure I've lost closer to 15 lbs, too. If I could hit that bulk mail scale at 5:00 a.m., nekkid and shoeless, then we'd know for sure :)

Darr

889

Since August 9th I've averaged 889 calories per day. I've walked 120+ minutes per week and since some of my shirts "fit better," I'm pretty sure I've lost weight.

My step-mother showed me a really cool exercise to combat my lower back pain when I walk. It worked like a charm. I am completely without lower back pain tonight. Now, how to get rid of the tightness above my ankles when I walk...

I am another day closer!

Bread

Bread. The staff of life. Or perhaps the staph of life.

I ate a sandwich today. Two slices of Rudi's Organic Flax bread (no flour) and about 2 tblsp of organic peanut butter. I have not had two slices of bread with a filling in between them for a long time. Nearly three weeks. It did curb my hunger. It did make me feel funky and bloated, too. Thereafter, I needed a nap. Bread. Bread. Bread.

It is not my friend.

Darr

Another day, another 690 calories

I am maintaining an average caloric consumption of less than 1000 calories today. A cricket rubbing its legs together makes more energy than that.

I walked like a little trooper today. I am about one month away from joining the band.

I need a turkey sandwich. I'm not getting it--but I want it.
I wanted a cookie today when we were at the Food Co-Op. I didn't buy it.

I ate a peach today. Whoohoo! I'm in the sugar now!

Darr

Chair removal surgery?

I hang at a lapband forum for support. Very helpful place. One "on the fence" poster who *did* go through with the surgery posted some questions that I've had as well. I replied to this poster's questions with a bit of tongue-in-cheek. My bad. Well...not that bad.

are you able to have a normal life? Normal is only one hat we all wear depending upon circumstances. Enjoy life more than being fat? Yes. Have a life, in general? Yes. Weight loss = better health. Better health = longer life. In general. Statistically speaking.

can you sit down to dinner with your family? What? After a lapband surgery you have no chairs in your house any longer? You can do everything with your family you did before. Only better.

can you eat out with friends? From attacking and chewing on cattle in the fields to dining at a five-star joint, yes. Having a lapband does not prevent you from enjoying the company of friends, ordering food away from home or eating in general.

Are you constantly thinking about food and how/what to eat? Probably. If you don't use the tool you just put inside you by thinking ahead, planning and learning the tricks, you will puke. Hopefully not in front of the friends, as noted above.

I walked for 20 minutes and did some stairs a couple of days ago. I am still amazingly exhausted. My hips feel "out" and are screaming for me to phone the chiropractor.

I have managed to stay around 1000 calories a day for exactly one week. It seems much longer. It might be longer than I am aware since I started my "pre-op" diet on August 1st without tracking my food intake via CalorieKing, which I purchased on the 10th.

Do I feel like my liver is smaller? Oh, yeah. Everything is getting smaller.

Darr :)

Upping the caloric intake a tad bit

Walking for 30 minutes on 610 calories isn't working for me. I felt like a total WASTOID yesterday. I had to sleep for a few hours. I then ate half a head of ice-berg lettuce and a package of peanut butter crackers. Goodness...a little protein, a few carbs...and the cramps in my legs went away and I didn't fee so "foggy."

I upped my calories today to 1200. I am hungry--but not "foggy" or ravenous. I'm going to drop back down to 1000 on the nose tomorrow. 800 may be too low for me right now. 610 is bad. Bad, not good.

Chanted for 1.5 hours today. Chanted about having elastic skin, a perfect surgery and recovery and to be a "poster child" for lapband success. Chanted about lots of things. :)

Walking again tomorrow. Will bring a snack with me to eat beforehand.

Darr

Like, I walked, man!

I did an additional 500 steps tonight. Didn't stretch out beforehand. My calves are mooing and I am exhausted.

Darr

A garden of earthly delights

I am on the 800-calorie pre-op diet. Tonight I made meatball soup with organic ground turkey, almond meal, roasted carrot soup as the base and the rest of it consisted of vegetables that I grew and picked this morning. Patapan squash, zucchini, red onion, tomatoes, leeks, peas. I chopped everything up and tossed it into the pot.

I had 2 meatballs and 1 cup of soup broth tonight for dinner. I am at a grand total of 690 calories for the day, minus 211 for my exercise. CalorieKing rocks, huh?

I am hungry!

I'm weighing tomorrow on the postal scale (I get applause from the bulk mail clerks).

Some of the veggies I grew (offered at our Buddhist altar) are pictured. I am pleased with my semi-green thumb :)

Darr

Another day...8/11/07

I walked today. I took a total of 2500 steps during a 30 minute walk through a nature area. Of course, this is the same nature area where my husband and I wet 17 years ago.

I sweat. I panted. I got to play kissy-face on the bridge where the vows were read.

I ate about 900 calories today and avoided writing. And here I even had a "sign and wonder" appear to me that I should be writing!

I'm driving home from dropping the daughter off at her babysitting job tonight, returning to an empty house and I'm thinking, "I don't wanna write. (I've written myself into a corner). It sucks (because I've written myself into a corner). It's never going to work (because I've written myself into a corner). The Orca King, II is as lame as the first story! (TOK has been my biggest seller). Why did I ever pick albino deer? (Don't ask)."

And right then what do I then need to stop for? A deer. It popped out from the bushes, stood in the road looking at me for a moment, then bounded away into the bushes on the other side.

A sign, perhaps? A reminder from the gods to go home and write and not allow the demons of self-depreciation to bite me on the ass?

I'm writing. I guess I take it as a sign.

These slip-on tennies were made for walking

Kind of. I did 2500 steps today. Not as in "up and down a staircase" but I walked for about 35-40 minutes and we figured that was 2500 steps. I now need a nap.

Darr :)

Post One. Not Day One.

I knew I wanted to have lapband surgery--definitely knew--in July of 2007. How many times can one woman lose and gain the same 60lbs, huh? To cut to the chase, without using flowery euphemisms or delicate, exotic prose, I am obese. In a more subtle and sexy manner of speaking, I am a rockin' big, beautiful woman.

I am fat. I am also phat. But to be fat and phat could eventually leave me being phat and dead. Dead is not an issue. I have too many great loves to leave behind. My husband, my daughter. My characters. The miniature dachshund! Love is worth fighting for and worth fighting against a growing tide of ill-health for. One of my great loves needed to leave. I chose F O O D.

I have long been a low-carb proponent. Giving up starchy foods such as bread, pasts, spuds and rice to be successful after having a lapband surgery isn't that big of a deal to me. All right...I like bread. I love bread. But I gave it up long ago for Lent. Even though I'm not Catholic and I did not end my fast in celebration of Easter. My second coming is at hand, however.

I am having lapband surgery on September 19, 2007. I've been hiding behind several layers of fat for some time. No longer. In the immortal words of The Terminator: I'll be back.

Darragha is coming back. To the world. To airline seats. Booths in restaurants. Clothing off the rack at Value Village.

Keep a weather eye on the horizon--

Darr

N O T E: I would like to take this forum to publicly thank my parents and step-parents for their financial support for the lapband surgery.


826 calories consumed today
zero exercise
that bites

must try harder tomorrow